'Grey House': Too confusing to be scary

‘GREY HOUSE’: Laurie Metcalf & Eamon Patrick O’Connell. Photo: MurphyMade, 2023.

GREY HOUSE
Written by Levi Holloway
Directed by Joseph Mantello
Through July 30, 2023
Lyceum Theatre
149 West 45th Street
(212-239-6200), www.GreyHouseBroadway.com

By David NouNou

Upon leaving this show, one wishes ushers had handed out leaflets to explain what on earth playwright Levi Holloway was writing about to clarify what happened on the stage of the Lyceum Theatre for the last 100 minutes. What is supposed to pass as a thriller comes across as a pretentious, incomprehensible, inconceivable tale. It is the story of a married couple, Henry (Paul Sparks) and Max (Claire Karpen)—Tatiana Maslany was absent at our performance due to illness—driving in a blizzard. They get into a car accident by hitting a deer, and that leaves Henry with a broken ankle. He hobbles in with Max to the cabin in the woods. Wooo—scary concept.

The time is 1977 (I guess people got scared easier in those days). The time is essential to know, because back then there were no cell phones to call for help. Of course, all the prerequisites are here, the house is creaking endlessly, the wind is howling outside, the cabin is a creepy mess and empty, and in order to call for help, Henry and Max walk into this seemingly abandoned cabin to call for help only to find out the phone’s cord is severed and there is no way to call out. This should have been a sign to get out of the house.

To add to the thrills and chills, there are the loud blackouts, a basement door that opens and closes with smoke billowing out of it. You ask yourself if this the stairway to hell? There is a refrigerator that, when opened, has different contents in it. The first time there are jars of elixirs in it, followed by different contents and back to the jars. Of course, what horror tale doesn’t have a face staring blankly through a window? These are the best of the jolts and shockers.

Soon, five of the creepiest children start appearing: Marlow (Sophia Anne Caruso), seemingly the eldest and the chilliest, an act perfected from her playing the role of Lydia Deetz in the musical Beetlejuice. Next is Bernie (Millicent Simmonds) who is deaf and uses sign language and can make Henry’s nose bleed with the merest hand gesture. Squirrel (Colby Kipnes) creeps in and out of the basement. A character named A1656 (Alyssa Emily Marvin)—this is not a typo —is the nicest of the lot, and one boy, The Boy (Eamon Patrick O’Connell), is the youngest. He is mostly blindfolded and hardly ever speaks. There’s also The Ancient (Cyndi Coyne); she is old and ghoulish—I think a ghost—who preys on Henry’s mind with the elixirs.

Oh, I almost forgot, there is also Raleigh (Laurie Metcalf), a seemingly gruff mother (or just having a bad day) mother figure to these children.

As Henry’s pain gets worse, Marlowe and the rest start plying Henry with the jars of moonshine—better known as the nectar of dead men—his condition worsens, these demon children start playing devious head games with Max to reveal inner secrets. Now, one would ask why would anyone allow themselves to be subjected to any of this? One would sooner amputate one’s own leg than be subjected to these children and this awful setting. It is at this point we find out there are many hidden secrets that brought them here. Was it really an accident or fate brought them here? You decide; I didn’t care.

Director Joe Mantello, usually a very concise and thorough director, has shed no light onto the proceedings except for the eerie lighting by Natasha Katz and a creepy set by the ever-brilliant set designer Scott Pask.

In a thriller, you expect to get scared and terrified, and not end up with a headache trying to figure out “what in the hell did I just sit through”?

Edited by Scott Harrah
Published June 5, 2023
Reviewed at June 3, 2023 press performance.