‘Bullets Over Broadway’ shoots blanks

TAP-DANCING DUDES: The men of ‘Bullets Over Broadway.’ Photo: Paul Kolnik

BULLETS OVER BROADWAY
Written by Woody Allen
Based on the screenplay of the film by Woody Allen & Douglas McGrath
Direction & choreography by Susan Stroman
St. James Theatre
246 West 44th Street
(212-239-6200), www.BulletsOverBroadway.com

By David NouNou

It is a sad, sad day when one has to write that Susan Stroman, a leading Broadway director/choreographer, has run out of original ideas. In 1994, Woody Allen wrote a magnificent, tightly written movie about Broadway, actors and gangsters. It was a delicious movie with an ensemble cast that had a wonderful sense of the absurd with no superfluous scenes. In its current incarnation as a Broadway musical, the whole show is superfluous. Mr. Allen’s films are written compactly and purposefully. However, there are times when he doesn’t know when to edit himself, so there is no room for taking his movies and expanding them. There is no way of inserting musical numbers or lame choreography in any of his scenes. That’s how tight his scenes are written.

In any Woody Allen movie, there is always some nostalgic 1920s song playing in the background or over the credits. There is no score here; just random classic songs given to the main characters to sing: David Shayne, playwright, (Zach Braff) “I’m Sitting on Top of the World” when his play is having a read through; Helen Sinclair, the over-the-top actress brilliantly played by Dianne Wiest in the movie, is abysmally overplayed and with no conviction by Marin Mazzie. Her entrance song is “They Go Wild, Simply Wild Over Me?”and the question here is why? At the end of Act One, the ensemble is singing “Running Wild,” a senseless rendition as chorines dance in usher uniforms on top of a train. It goes like this throughout the show until the end. The finale song is “Yes, We Have No Bananas.” If anyone can give me a reasonable explanation behind this asinine move, maybe I can understand what the creators of this show were trying to accomplish

In addition, every time Ms. Stroman feels there should be a dance number, she inserts the same now-old tap-dance routines that she first brilliantly introduced in Crazy For You in 1992, The Producers in 2001, The Scottsboro Boys in 2010, and her last show, Big Fish in 2013. What seemed fresh and energetic all those other times, now just seems tired and overused. As a matter of fact, the whole show seems tired and underused. She has even pilfered two instances from Guys and Dolls. She has separated the male and female dancers. The women are another version of the Hot Box Revue pussycats, with the opening song “Tiger Rag” or “Hold That Tiger”, and the men have their thing as in the sewer scene with Sky Masterson singing “Luck Be A Lady”, but in this case it is Cheech and the gangsters singing and tap-dancing to “Tain’t Nobody’s Biz-ness If I Do”. The direction is equally unimaginative, listless and accomplishes nothing, just enough for the actors to keep from bumping into each other. Although some of the dialogue and jokes came directly from the movie as spoken by this cast, they land with a thud and a snicker.

And then there is the issue of casting; all the major roles are played by great character actors, but they don’t work as an ensemble. They all seem to have seen the movie and are trying to replicate that magic of their screen counterparts, but not even the best of directors can bring them together cohesively, because mostly each one of them is working on his or her shtick.

Zach Braff (from TVs “Scrubs”) as David Shayne, the intellectual playwright who doesn’t want to sell out and have his play compromised, is rather ineffectual and spineless. There is no way that the man-eating Helen Sinclair would ever be attracted to such a milquetoast sans personality. Helen Sinclair, the aging actress and probably my favorite Woody Allen character, has the narcissistic fears of every actress over 40 but she knows she is still “A Star”. Marin Mazzie does the unthinkable by making Helen appear as a character a la Carol Burnett from her 1970s show in one of her skits. Helen, in her own words from a song she sings, is now not only a dipsomaniac, but a sex maniac and a kleptomaniac as well. Admirable traits indeed; I guess she possesses these traits because they rhyme. Ms. Mazzie has taken one of the screen’s most iconic roles and turned her into a buffoon.

Vincent Pastore as Nick Valenti, the mob boss, is given unspeakably clichéd thug lines, but does the best he can with them. Helene Yorke captures the essence of Olive Neal, the no-talent, screechy-voiced actress; a little of her goes a long way. Lenny Wolpe as the producer, Julian Marx, God bless, if only all producers were as nice as him. Brooks Ashmanskas is featured in yet another flouncing role as the overeating actor, Warner Purcell. Karen Ziemba is wasted as Eden, the older actress in the show.

I have saved the two best for last. They are the two people that make the evening tolerable. Betsy Wolfe and her glorious voice as Ellen, David’s girlfriend, is pure delight; and as Cheech, the thug henchman who is really an artist and genius at heart, Nick Cordero is a crooner, a hoofer and a looker. They rise to the occasion with their performances.

The sad part about all this is the show came with such pedigree. However, some movies are just not meant to be expanded as musicals as in so many cases this particular season, with the exception of Aladdin. Unfortunately, the St. James, once the home of many glorious musicals has been the venue for several recent Broadway mediocrities, and now we can add Bullets Over Broadway to this dubious list.

RAZZLE-DAZZLE OR FILLER?: One of many forgettable production numbers in ‘Bullets Over Broadway.’ Photo: Paul Kolnik

Six 2014 Tony Nominations: Book of a Musical; Woody Allen, Musical Supporting Actor; Nick Cordero, Set Design, Costumes, Choreography; Susan Stroman and Orchestrations.

Edited by Scott Harrah
Published April 11, 2014